What Is Sextortion?

It’s estimated that in 2022, close to 3.96 billion people worldwide used social media. The power of social media is advantageous for several reasons: global connectivity, community involvement, marketing capabilities, access to information, and opportunities for online learning or remote employment. However, with all its benefits, the nature of social media presents a range of potential issues, one of which is sextortion. 

According to the FBI, sextortion is a crime that transpires when someone is coerced into sending explicit images online and extorted for money. These schemes often occur in environments where young people feel most comfortable, such as social media sites or video chat applications that feel familiar and safe. The perpetrators, mainly originating from outside the United States, often use fake accounts to target young kids, primarily boys aged 14 to 17; however, the FBI said that investigators have interviewed victims as young as 10. 

Predators convince their target to produce explicit photos or videos, and once they have it, threaten to release the compromising material unless they’re sent money or gift cards. Even if the victim sends the money, officials say the predators often release the photos anyway. The shame, fear, and confusion victims feel when caught in this cycle often prevent them from asking for help or reporting the abuse. They can often feel vulnerable about their invaded privacy and may be afraid that they will get in trouble with whoever they tell for what has occurred.

Over the past year, law enforcement has received over 7,000 reports related to the online financial sextortion of minors, resulting in over 3,000 victims and more than a dozen suicides – and there are even more victims who are afraid to come forward that are not included in those numbers. These predators are going after young kids online who are vulnerable, scared, and ashamed. It’s a growing crisis that can devastate children and families. 

So, how can we prevent this? The best defense against this crime is to talk to your children about what to do if they are targeted. They also need to know they can come to you and do not have to keep things to themselves, thinking they’re to blame. Armed with the information, parents, caregivers, and children will hopefully feel empowered to recognize fake identities, take steps to reject any attempt to obtain private material, and, if targeted, have a plan to seek a trusted adult. In addition, encourage those in your care to consider the following:

• The predator is to blame, not you

• Don’t delete anything

• Get help before deciding to pay the money or comply with the predator in any way

• If you are receiving sextortion threats, you are not alone

If you or your child fall victim to sextortion, report these incidents to the FBI at 1-800-CALL-FBI, or you can report it online at https://tips.fbi.gov/. 

The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) can also help. To report your sexually-exploitive images/videos to the CyberTipline, call 1-800-THE-LOST or make a report at https://report.cybertip.org/. NCMEC can also help get any images that are out there down and provides resources and access to individuals if you or your child need someone to talk to: https://www.missingkids.org/isyourexplicitcontentoutthere 

Written by Montana Banks, Freedom 4/24 Volunteer

Sources

https://www.fbi.gov/video-repository/newss-what-is-sextortion/view 

https://fox59.com/news/fbi-seeing-explosion-in-reports-of-young-boys-being-extorted-online/

More Than Just Stranger Danger

When we were younger, our parents warned us about “stranger danger” just as their parents did when they were young. As children, we’re taught not to talk to strangers, not to accept rides from people we don’t know, and to refuse food from those we haven’t met. While this principle is still, and should be, passed down to our children, a new kind of danger has emerged. It is a real and present threat that we can’t see with our eyes and one capable of masquerading as something friendly, fun, or intriguing.

Without even realizing it, recent advancement in technology has resulted in many of us unknowingly inviting strangers into our homes. Our vulnerabilities are now not only physical and geographical but include games and apps we can access wherever we are. This means we give those we interact with online express invitations into our personal lives. Most adults are capable of sensing when something isn’t right and acting on our intuition. However, many children haven’t yet learned what stands out as a red flag or something that is too good to be true. The internet, in spite of  all of its benefits, gives criminals and predators an easy way to reach our young people. Social media, gaming devices, and computers have become a portal, providing easy access to a much larger group of potential targets for exploitation and trafficking.

One common scenario goes something like this: traffickers use social media to find and manipulate victims into meeting with them before the trafficker kidnaps and exploits them. The University of Toledo conducted a study which found that social media is increasingly being utilized as a medium to contact, recruit, and sell children for sex because of their vulnerabilities and innocence, with the average age demographic being those 12 to 14 years old.

Now that we know this is a problem, what can we do? 

• Talk to your kids. These conversations can be hard but by having them, we can help keep our children out of harm’s way. It’s important that we provide practical safety tips to children and teens such as: not sharing personal information on the Internet, not accepting friend requests from people they don’t know, never sharing naked or revealing pictures of themselves, and telling a parent or trusted adult if they feel threatened or uncomfortable. These conversations can set our kids up to practice great online boundaries and learn what to look out for and communicate about as they interact with technology.

• Know that it doesn’t have to be scary. Social media can be a wonderful tool to stay connected with our friends and family and learn new things. However, it’s up to us to make sure our kids know how to use it properly and minimize exposure. Perhaps, the most important advice for parents is to have open and continuous conversations with your kids about safe and appropriate behavior online. The key here is consistency. It’s also important for parents to educate themselves on the websites, games, software, and apps your kids are using and to check their social media and gaming profiles and posts. Explain to your children how images or comments that are posted online can be shared with anyone and are never truly removed from the internet. Update privacy settings or utilize parental controls on the platforms and establish rules that safeguard against meeting or chatting with someone they met online without your knowledge and supervision.

• Discuss sexual abuse and sex trafficking with your kids. Use discernment about the age and maturity of your child before having this conversation, but examine ways that children, teens, and young adults are targeted for trafficking. Let them know that traffickers specifically, try to pursue young girls and boys with promises of a better life – whether it’s promises of love and attention or guarantees of nice things. Traffickers can be anyone; male, female, young, old, and may even be kids recruiting other kids. Teach kids that interactions or situations that feel weird or too good to be true warrant a conversation with a trusted adult or a parent. Reassure them that if anyone has or ever does hurt them, they can talk to you but be sure to be a comforting presence. If your child does come to you with a situation, don’t belittle the situation, criticize or mock the child; instead, leave the door open for your child to talk freely with you. Depending on the nature of the conversation, they may feel awkward or unnerving at first but the best thing we can do for them is to educate them.

All in all, remember that raising awareness about possible dangers and showing our kids how to enjoy the benefits of advancing technology safely can make all the difference when it comes to preventing trafficking and exploitation. 

Written by Montana Banks, Freedom 4/24 Volunteer

Not sure where to start?

We’ve developed a mini-course for parents and youth!

We created a 25-minute video that covers important topics for youth and parents as they navigate relationships, social media, and protecting themselves from exploitation.

To access the Video, Facilitator Guide & Youth Worksheet, fill out the form at freedom424.org/videoaccess.

https://www.fbi.gov/how-we-can-help-you/parents-and-caregivers-protecting-your-kids 

https://www.mikids.org/blog-posts/2018/11/15/5-ways-parents-can-help-protect-their-children-from-sex-trafficking#:~:text=It%20is%20important%20to%20provide,feel%20threatened%20or%20uncomfortable%20online. 

https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-sex-traffickers-use-social-media-to-contact-recruit-and-sell-children-for-sex/ 

Be Tara's Ally

It is estimated that two million children are sold into the sex trade every year. Of those, 500,000 of them are trafficked in India alone.

While the Government of India has slowly implemented different procedures to better identify victims of human trafficking, locate incidents of bonded labor, and identify perpetrators and their culpability in the trafficking, the problem is growing faster than the solutions are being provided.

In 2021, the Government of India has made identifying perpetrators possible, but the legal process of prosecuting these traffickers and then bringing them to justice is still significantly lacking. Overall anti-trafficking efforts, especially against bonded labor, remained inadequate. According to the U.S. Department of State’s 2021 Trafficking report of India, the changes made still did not have a significant effect on convictions. The government achieved fewer convictions, and the acquittal rate for traffickers remained high at 73 percent.

There is still so much that must be done to ensure that victims of human trafficking are rescued, protected, and given justice but we are partnered with an organization that is at the front lines of this fight. 

Freedom Firm works tirelessly to end child sex trafficking in India. They accomplish this by identifying victims and perpetrators of sex trafficking, mobilizing law enforcement agencies to rescue victims and arrest perpetrators, assisting the legal system during prosecution, and enabling rescued girls to engage in effective rehabilitation. 

Their work impacts the lives of so many children across India and last year one girl, in particular, was among them.

Meet Tara: 14 years old

Pictured: Tara with her face blurred for protection.

Tara is a 14-year-old girl rescued by Freedom Firm in July of 2021. Upon meeting Tara, the team noted that she was well-spoken and connected quickly to the social workers. They even noted an innocence to her they picked up on immediately. Her mother was a prostitute and once Tara had no one to care for her, she became involved in prostitution as well to survive day to day. 

Once she was rescued, Tara was placed in a shelter home in Nagpur for four and a half months when the restoration process began. She attended life skill classes conducted by Freedom Firm and loved the activities hosted within the shelter. After thoroughly enjoying the learning and the life for her in the shelter, Tara was transferred to a home in Dholpur, Rajasthan. Social workers will regularly check in on Tara to see her on her healing journey. She has been given a private lawyer, a charge sheet has been filed and her case is beginning to be heard. 

Thankfully, Tara is continuing to heal in a shelter in her hometown, but continued prayer for her safety and for her to continue to cultivate the skills she learned in the home is a key part of her ongoing journey.

Your generous support is vital to the restoration work being done by Freedom Firm for young girls like Tara.

While it was Tara last year, we can not wait to know the next young girl whose life will be radically changed by the incredible work of our partner. We can’t wait to see her picture, to hear her story, to say her name. When we hear about the girl Freedom Firm rescued, we can’t wait to share her story with you.

We cannot do it without you.

Come alongside us to make the work being done in India possible. It costs $6,000 for our partner, Freedom Firm, to rescue one sex trafficking victim in India and begin the aftercare process. We are striving to raise $7,200 for our partners to ensure they can continue to provide incredible care for girls like Tara.

When you give financially, they can heal holistically.

Give today and be an Ally for girls like Tara.

Help us meet our $6,000 goal to rescue one girl and give a one-time donation.

$24 a month or more provides freedom and further’s the mission of prevention and restoration.

Resources:

https://www.freedomfirm.org

https://www.state.gov/reports/2021-trafficking-in-persons-report/india/

How To Recognize Grooming With Your Eyes, Ears, and Mind

For some, the word “grooming” simply describes the care given to a beloved furry friend. For others who recognize the notorious link the word now has to sexual explotation, it has taken on a much more sinister meaning.

By the 1980’s, the word was coined as one of the most common tactics used by abusers to emotionally manipulate and isolate their victims. Even though grooming was identified long before the internet, social media has brought a wave of constant and often secret communication that can serve as a breeding ground for grooming if not monitored.

BUT REMEMBER- Grooming happens both on and offline.

In order to protect children and teens from the devastating effects of grooming, one must first be able to define, recognize, and identify grooming for what it is.

So What Is Grooming?

Grooming:

 “Manipulative behaviors that the abuser uses to gain access to a potential victim, coerce them to agree to the abuse, and reduce the risk of being caught.”

-RAINN

Grooming looks very different from situation to situation, but it tends to follow a pattern. The abuser may be a romantic partner, a mentor, a family member, or dominant figure, but the tactics of the groomer remain similar.

Pattern Of Grooming:

Targeting the Victim

Gaining Trust

Meeting Needs

Isolation

Exploitation

Maintaining Control

Grooming can be seen, heard, and felt.

Once someone can recognize grooming from the side of the abuser, it is important to familiarize oneself with seeing the signs of grooming from the side of the victim of the abuse.

Child grooming can look like:

• Constant online communication through a child’s favorite game or social media platform

• Showering the child with gifts and sudden attention

• Convincing the child the behavior is normal and making the child eventually question their own sense of reality

• Isolating the child from friends and family as to ensure they are the only person the child trusts, talks to, or relies on

These are just some of the changes a child or teen who is being groomed will experience. The abuser will create an environment that in all ways leads the child back to them and them alone. The more emotionally and physically reliant on the abuser the victim becomes, the easier it is for the abuser to manipulate them.

Child grooming can sound like:

• “You are so mature for your age…”

• “You can trust me with anything…”

• “Noone understands you like I do..”

• “If you really love me you will…”

At the core of grooming lies emotional manipulation and while this manipulation sounds different in every situation, phrases that aim to isolate the child and make them emotionally dependent on the groomer are seen over and over again.

Child grooming can feel like:

• Nobody would believe the child if they knew 

• Nobody would understand why the child didn’t ask for help sooner

• Nobody would be able to keep the child safe from their abuser if people found out

While most people would offer help without a second thought to a child or teen being sexually exploited, an abuser will make their victim feel like their need for help is a burden. Grooming creates a false sense of intimacy and connection between the abuser and the victim may even reject the idea that they are being manipulated.

The best way to offer help to someone you suspect is being groomed is to learn the signs.

If you notice these signs in someone or are concerned a child or teen is being abused, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit RAINN.org for detailed resources.

Sources:

https://calio.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/the-evolution-of-grooming-concept-and-term.pdf

https://www.rainn.org/news/grooming-know-warning-signs

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/grooming/#1

https://polarisproject.org/blog/2021/02/love-and-trafficking-how-traffickers-groom-control-their-victims/

10 Essential Ways to Practice Consent

Typically, consent is a term that relates to physical or sexual activity in relationships. However, consent has more to do with the decision-making behind your actions than the actions themselves.

Consent is….

• When someone gives permission and says ‘yes’ to something.

• An important part of being in a healthy relationship with another person. 

• Reflective of clear boundaries.

• Feeling safe to say what is okay and what is not okay.

• Important in brand new relationships and long-term ones.

Unfortunately, consent is not always as easy as saying yes or no, sometimes it is a yes with ‘stipulations’ or ‘conditions’.

With this “gate” analogy in mind, ask yourself….

• Who are you letting in?

• how are you letting them in?

• Is the gate always open?

• Are you making smart, intentional decisions to let safe people and situations into your life to help you reach your goals and dreams?

Here are Freedom 4/24’s essential consent practices…

1. Ignoring media’s lack of consent.

   Rarely, if ever, will you see a conversation about consent in movies, on TV, or even hear about it in a relationship you look up to. This does not mean this should be the case in your relationship. 

2. Choosing to talk about consent BEFORE any action is carried out.

   A person should never take something or do something to another person without asking, so being able to talk honestly about each other’s boundaries, what you/they want, and what you/they don’t want is essential. Checking in with one another should happen continuously in a relationship because you always have the right to change your mind. 

3. Being willing to “ruin the mood” by saying “no” or “not right now.” 

   Consent should be given each time. Even when consent has been given before, each person has the right to change their mind.

4. Deciding that no one is obligated to give their consent at a given time.

   Giving consent should be in line with your personal boundaries and communicate how you feel, what is okay with you, and what is not. This frees you and your partner to interact when and how it is comfortable for both individuals.

5. Knowing “maybe” does not mean yes. 

   Yes means yes, no means no, and maybe also likely means no. A lack of no is NOT consent, meaning you need to pause, communicate, and/or stop. Convincing or coercion should never be the means for a consent decision. 

6. Voicing desires and fears out loud.

   This is also a part of relationships not shown in media. Healthy intimacy means being honest about where you’re at. Honesty will actually bring you closer to someone who genuinely cares for you and will likely contribute to your level of comfort with that person in the future. 

7. Finding your worth outside of someone’s “yes” or “no.”

   You and your partner can create a safe space for one another to be secure in their value no matter what the other’s desired pace or boundaries are in the relationship. And, agreeing that the other’s personal choice is not a reflection of your value or how much they love you is a foundational piece for healthy consent.

8. Treating consensual decision-making as a personal but mutual choice. 

   How you are or are not going to interact with someone needs to be a freely-made choice of willingness made by BOTH individuals. There should be no convincing, guilting, or bribing necessary to reach a choice. Both people should be in the right mindset when making a choice and feel passionate about the choice made.

9. Treating consent as BOTH words and action. 

   Consent requires a verbal, enthusiastic, and sure “yes!” Consent also requires outward ability to perform and affirm a particular choice. 

10. Being OK with consent being withdrawn at any time. 

    Giving consent on one occasion time does not make it indefinite. Consent is not a binding contract and does not require someone to follow through at that time or anytime.
    . 

Consent means utilizing communication every step of the way, meaning answers are never assumed.

In the moment, assumptions might seem more comfortable, but they actually are opposite to what is needed for creating a sustainable, healthy, mutually enjoyable relationship. Consent conversations, though uncomfortable at first,  initiate and form clear boundaries, foster respect, and free each individual to communicate honestly.

Consent is 100% essential in all relationships at all times and is necessary for a healthy and respectful relationship.

Sources: 

https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/respect-sex/

https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/how-consent-works/

https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/what-consent-does-and-doesnt-look-like/

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/politics/whats_in_a_nohttps://www.scarleteen.com/article/politics/whats_in_a_no

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/disability_quickies/quickies_sexual_consent_basics

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/abuse_assault/drivers_ed_for_the_sexual_superhighway_navigating_consent

Lack of Opportunity

Lack of opportunity may be one of the most misunderstood aspects of human trafficking because from the outside, it may appear that the victim is choosing a lifestyle in the sex trade.

“If they didn’t want to be in the sex industry, they could just do something else!” is a common assumption.

The UN Office on Drugs and Crime’s 2020 Global Trafficking in Persons Report indicates that 51 percent of world-wide trafficking cases are driven by the pre-existing factor of economic need. Traffickers identify the lack of resources in income and employment in other individuals and manipulate that need for their own financial gain. 

Opportunity is a “set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something.”

This “set of circumstances” may not be readily available to everyone. Consider how possible it would be to find employment without education/training to qualify for work, without connections or a social safety net to support you through transitions and provide you with advantageous introductions, with no reliable transportation to get you to your job, or even health so you can keep and maintain employment. It's easy to take “opportunity” for granted if one has never had to struggle with having those advantageous circumstances that are needed to allow for choice.

It is at this crossroads of “survival” and “lack of options” that individuals often find themselves victimized through the sex trade.

Consider the story of one girl who received care and support from Beginnings Foundation in Thailand.  Her parents were separated and her mother was too sick to fully provide for the family. She was sent to Bangkok to get a job and ended up working in the sex industry, the only job that would pay what she needed.  “I was just 17 and felt uncomfortable working there and did not at all like it. I wished there was something else I could do besides having to ‘go with men,’ but I finished only grade 9.” This is a common narrative for those without resources, educational opportunity and options. 

This happens here in the United States as well. Natasha, a trafficking survivor in Virginia, was impacted by poverty, loss of a parent at an early age, and familial abuse. She and a friend needed work and was presented with an “opportunity” for a great job in New York City so they left Virginia to start a new life. However, when they arrived in New York, they were beaten, raped, and then forced to work as escorts and serve up to 100 clients a night. Natasha willingly went to New York for a job, but once there, was unable to escape for two years because she was controlled by a trafficker who used force, fraud, and coercion to maintain control over her movements. Oftentimes, like Natasha, individuals who are in high risk situations but have limited resources and no safety nets are more vulnerable to offers that appear to meet their needs and provide for their families but instead, are exploitative situations.

Ultimately, very few people actually “choose” a life of providing sex to multiple people each day.

Opportunities provide options and options allow for choice. If one is in a situation that is void of options in order to survive and stay alive, choice is never a factor. Freedom 4/24 aims to educate our communities about this aspect of trafficking so that a greater understanding and compassion can be applied to situations where it appears that victims are choosing to engage in a life of prostitution.

Familial Trafficking

Contributing author: Kaitlyn Savage, Freedom 4/24 intern

WHAT IS IT?

Familial trafficking in the United States usually can be identified when a child is intentionally sexually exploited by family members looking for a payoff in the form of money, drugs, or something else of value. As reported by the Counter Trafficking Data Collaborative, familial trafficking makes up 36% of human trafficking cases. By a recent study, 64% of the traffickers were mothers, who were assisted by a non-relative trafficker, and in 82% of these cases, drugs were the currency used to profit from the exchange. Also recognized by the CTDC, it was reported that almost half of identified cases of child trafficking begin with some family member involvement.

WHO IS IT?

Victims of familial trafficking many times do not identify as a victim, due to the normalization factor. It is not uncommon for children to normalize any type of abuse they are experiencing. Many times youth that are being trafficked within the family, go to school and participate in activities without someone recognizing what is going on in that youth’s life.

WHO IS THE BUYER?

These children are being exploited commonly to satisfy a parent's drug addiction, but who is the buyer? It is reported that 60% of perpetrators of child sexual abuse are known to the victim but aren’t family, 30% are family members, and 10% are strangers. About 77% are adults, and 96% are male. The average “John,” or buyer, is a 40-year-old, married father of two who makes an average annual income of $75,000–80,000.

Perhaps now, the greatest influence for familial trafficking is the ever increasing opioid epidemic. Individuals within the healthcare, mental health, and substance abuse system should be mindful of the exploitation vulnerability that exists within families struggling with addiction. I pray that these children find safety, and a different idea of normal.

PREVENTION TIPS:

Due to the fact that  many familial trafficking situations are tied to substance abuse and addiction,  mental health professionals and substance abuse counselors should be attentive to the vulnerability of the addicts family and children in regards to exploitation.  Because the family is the exploiter in this type of trafficking it takes the community as a whole to have the attentiveness to prevent and protect children vulnerable to familial trafficking 

Teachers, social workers, physicians, other family members and friends can be attentive to concerns of potential familial trafficking situations. Communicating to a child that you are there for them in any thing they are going through, talking about inappropriate touch, and being mindful of controlling behavior within the family can create communities in which we are more alert to potential cases of familial trafficking. 

RESOURCES:

https://www.safe4us.org/blog/familial-sex-trafficking-crime-against-children https://www.dressember.org/blog/breaking-down-the-myth-why-familial-human-trafficking-goes-unnoticed https://www.wvpublic.org/news/2018-01-09/west-virginia-sees-increase-in-family-sex-trafficking-related-to-opioid-epidemic

https://polarisproject.org/2019-us-national-human-trafficking-hotline-statistics/ 

3 Prevention Tools for Online Solicitation

What is Online Exploitation? 

So many youth are online and vulnerable to online exploitation.

In 2020 alone, we saw over 21 million reports to the nation’s Cybertipline. National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s CyberTipline is the nation’s centralized reporting system for the online exploitation of children. The public and electronic service providers can make reports of suspected online enticement of children for sexual acts, child sexual molestation, child sexual abuse material, child sex tourism, child sex trafficking, unsolicited obscene materials sent to a child, misleading domain names, and misleading words or digital images on the internet.

So, what practical tools are available to PROTECT and PREVENT children from being exploited online?

Family Sharing through Apple:

Did you know that every Apple device comes factory set to explicit settings for internet browsing, apps, music and videos?!! 

Your child’s Apple product (iphone, ipad, computer etc..) can be set up with an Apple ID, under your Apple ID- this will allow you to set up screen time, limit any app - determining what you want on your child’s device, set parental controls for content, block in app communication and so much more.  

Instructions: Go to Settings → Apple ID/iCloud/Media Purchases → Family Sharing → Add member → from there set up various settings for your child added

Family Sharing allows you to set boundaries for your child’s device, adjusting as needed and models that the internet, devices and social media should be used with boundaries and limitations.

Bark APP

Bark monitors texts, email, YouTube, and 30+ apps and social media platforms for signs of issues like cyberbullying, sexual content, online predators, depression, suicidal ideation, threats of violence, and more.

You can get email and text alerts when Bark detects potential issues so you can talk to your child and make sure everything is OK.  

The Bark app allows you to talk things through with your kids if an issue comes up, encouraging transparency and open communication which hopefully develops greater connection in your relationship.

Protect Young Eyes APP

The Protect APP provides simple quick resources and videos for parents and children to navigate through technology together. The bite size lessons simplify complex digital subjects;  resources aide parents in building rapport with their child, and quick videos give children the tools they need to protect themselves online.  

These simplified resources give parents and children together the lodown on various apps, games and platforms and how to use them safely and what things parents can put into place to do so.

---

Guardrails on highways and roadways prevent us from what? Going off the road, right? So, why wouldn’t we as parents and caregivers also put guardrails up for our kids in the highly online world we all exist in? It’s the playground of our current age.  You don’t just drop a 5 year old off at the playground and hope for the best. You stay and watch them play. You read a book closeby. You talk with other parents on the bench as the kids run around. The same posture needs to be taken with our parenting in the online/device world. Be present. Be proactive. 

Protecting our kids from online exploitation and inappropriate content is daunting, but it’s worth it. Innocence is lost when we don’t protect it. Innocence is lost when we don’t prevent it from getting lost in the first place. Put one of these tools above into play in your family to help protect the most treasured gifts we’ve been given- our kids.  

3 Benefits for using these tools:

1. PROTECTION: Provides a layer of protection for your child- just like we have our kids buckle up when they get in the car. It doesn’t mean they will be guaranteed safety or injury while in a vehicle- but rather adds a layer of protection.

2. CONVERSATION: The tools we recommend are prompting a conversation between you and your child about what is going on in their online world and relationships. These conversations can build deeper connection with you and your kids.

3. BOUNDARIES: utilizing these tools communicates to your child that online use, social media and technology should be used with BOUNDARIES. A benefit from any kind of boundary is what? We don’t go to places we don’t need to go. 

So 3 benefits for using prevention tools are PROTECTION, CONVERSATION and BOUNDARIES.

Signs of Unhealthy Relationships

Friends. Neighbors. Boyfriends. Teachers. Girlfriends. Acquaintances. Relatives. Coaches.

These are just several of the many relationships that any of us may find ourselves in. Relationships are fundamental to our well-being as humans. We are, by nature, relational. Some of our most cherished joys in life stem from relationships. Those surrounding us have the potential to impact our lives in a deeply personal way, and this can either be uplifting and empowering or hurtful and exploitative. 

The unfortunate truth is that there are two sides to this coin; because the people in our lives have such personal access to our lives, they also have the potential to take advantage of us in harmful ways. With the rise of technology in the younger generation, it is especially important to educate our children about healthy relationships.

What should we, as parents and caregivers, be keeping an eye out for in our children’s relationships? 

There are many indicators that could bring attention to unhealthy, exploitative relationships in our children. In other words, these indicators can be signs that grooming is occurring. Grooming is when an individual gradually manipulates their victim over time in order to take advantage of them. Many times, the victim will not even realize they are being exploited. 

This blog will only cover a few signs of unhealthy relationships, but keep in mind that other signs may make you feel uncomfortable about a relationship in your child’s life as well. By being a safe person in your child's life, your child will not have anything to hide, so do not be afraid to ask questions.

Indicator #1: Your child becomes isolated and spends most, if not all, of their time with one person. 

One thing that harmful individuals are really good at in relationships is convincing your child that they are exactly what your child needs. If your child is in need of a father, sister, boyfriend, or whatever it may be, harmful individuals will wear a disguise and take on that role so that your child will feel like they need them. Because of this manipulation, isolation is very easy to fall into, and it is encouraged by the harmful individual. They may communicate something such as: “Why do you need to spend time with those friends? They don’t know you like I do. Nobody knows you like I do. I am the only person you need in your life.” If you notice that your child is isolating from their family and friends and starting to spend time with a single person, it might be wise to ask some questions and see why they are distancing themselves from their loved ones.  

Indicator #2: Someone starts providing your child with what they need and giving them excessive gifts. 

If someone in your child’s life provides them with things such as clothes, a cell phone, or a place to stay, there may be an exploitative relationship happening. The provision of these needs creates an obligation for your child to return the favor back to this person. This obligation might be spoken or unspoken, so asking your child about it directly might not reveal the full truth. Healthy relationships are not based on a give-and-take economy. Rather, the people in your child’s life that really care for them will give without conditions. You know your child better than anyone else; fully embrace that as you try to determine if this type of grooming is happening in your child’s relationships. 

Indicator #3: There is a distinct imbalance of power in your child’s relationships. 

An imbalance of power may not be the case initially. Rather, it might happen gradually, especially if the first two indicators have taken place. When someone becomes the sole provider in a relationship of any kind, there can be a concerning imbalance of power. Providing for needs and wants is one major way in which people can gain power over someone else. On the other hand, the imbalance of power might be related to age, status, gender, or race, to name a few. The harmful individual will leverage the imbalance of power to take advantage of your child.

Thus, exploitation occurs when someone is taken advantage of because of their dependence on someone else. 

The main theme of these unhealthy relationship indicators is that the harmful individual tries to become someone whom your child needs in order to create an obligation to “return the favor.” Any of these indicators might lead to the individual asking for inappropriate photos, sex, or even sex with others in return. Exploitation is a gradual process. 

We at Freedom 4/24 prioritize educating the children and youth of our community on exploitation and healthy relationships. Below are some things that you can do: 

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What can I do/Prevention tips: 

• Parents: In addition to watching out for these indicators, always keep communication open with your child. Remind them that they can tell you anything. Be aware of who your child is spending time with. 

• Youth: Tell your trusted adult if you feel like someone is trying to make you feel obligated to do or give something in return. Never trust anyone who pushes you to isolate yourself from your other loved ones. 

• Educators: Be on the lookout for these indicators and try to notice if any of your students seem isolated and are spending all of their time with one person. Pay attention to signs of distress from your students, and identify yourself as someone your students can trust to tell if something uncomfortable is happening in their lives. 

• Everyone: Educate yourself about exploitative relationships, and be aware of those around you. Do not be afraid to ask hard questions. 

Dear Mom and Dad, Your Child Is Scared To Disappoint You

Contributing author : Kaitlyn Savage, Freedom 4/24 intern

53% of 12- to 17-year-olds are "very" or "extremely" concerned about disappointing their parents. Only 3% are not concerned at all. 

Fear and Rejection 

When children are born, parents do all that they can to make sure their child lives a better life than the one they did, and they hope the child later becomes a better person for it. However, children grow into young adults, and young adults experiment, make mistakes, and learn. Experimentation amongst young adults is common and expected. However, there usually is not a clear line of communication that indicates such experimentation is normal between parents and their children. Whether or not parents want their child to experiment, it does happen. 

When the line of communication is absent between parents and children, alongside a series of expectations for the child, the child fears making a mistake. If the child makes a mistake, they fear telling their parents about it more. 

A child’s fear in disappointing their parents is due to three reasons: 

• Fear their parents’ image of them will be distorted. Fear that the parent will think of them as not good enough. 

• Fear of punishment. 

• Fear of rejection.

A child fears punishment when they do wrong. There is no argument. However, when it comes to a child’s fear of disappointment, rejection is more intimidating. A child fears that, for their choices, they will not be accepted. They fear that they will be dismissed. A child scared to disappoint their parents is a child who wants to be reminded that they’re safe and loved. 

Transparency 

“My Parents Wouldn’t Understand” “I’ll Get In Trouble”

You want your child to be transparent with you. Are you transparent with your child? 

Children don’t want to make choices or mistakes that would disappoint their parents because they believe that their parents didn’t make those same choices or mistakes when they were younger. Whether or not you made the exact same choices or mistakes, you did make mistakes as a young adult. You’re human. Your child needs to know that. 

Without great detail that crosses the line between parent and friend, let your child know you, too, were once a young adult. If you feel comfortable, tell them a story about a time you did something fun with your friends while you were in high school. This lets your child feel less alone in their choices, which then lets them feel less alone in talking about their choices as a young adult. Transparency and openness can be your greatest tool when it comes to parenting.

Your transparency results in your child’s transparency.

Why Is Making a Safe Place For Your Child to Talk to You Important? 

Let’s talk about Falon’s story. Falon was a teenager when she began to get texts from a guy. It started out innocent but didn’t stay that way—he began to lie about his age and the content he messaged her became inappropriate. Falon knew it wasn’t right, and she could have kept it from her mom for fear of disappointing her. Instead, Falon felt safe enough to come to her mom and tell her what had been happening. Her mom called the cops, the man was arrested, and he made his intentions very clear: he was either going to rape and kill Falon or traffic her in another country.

This is why the parent child relationship is important in the fight against exploitation and trafficking.

Next Steps To Protect 

DFO 

Apply the posture to your parenting DFO - Don’t Freak Out. Kids will do things where you naturally want to FREAK OUT from their behavior. You may have all kinds of rules for your kids, but make it a rule for yourself to not freak out when they come to you. This brings disconnection with your kids and apprehension in confiding in you. 

COMPOSE 

Parents, put a plan in place for yourself if you find that your child has been exploring with pornography. 

Culture Reframed gives the acronym COMPOSE for parents. 

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Purchasing a safe home in Thailand | Beginnings Foundation

บ้าน (Home in Thai): A place of rest, comfort, and healing. 

Every victim of sexual exploitation deserves a safe place to dwell, a home to thrive in. We need your help to make this possible:

Our partner, Beginnings Foundation provides a home for women and girls in Bangkok and Pattaya, Thailand who desire to start a new life with the physical, emotional, spiritual, and educational support they need to break out of sexual slavery. 

The Problem: Beginnings Foundation is required to invest in a house they do not own. 

Over the last 13 years, Beginning’s Bangkok campus has struggled with housing for their home. Rent has been increased four times, repairs have been expensive, and there is not a stable contract in place. 

The Need: Beginnings Foundation needs funding to help buy a property for their Bangkok location. 

Having their own property gives them more financial freedom to expand their work and reach more women and girls.

The Solution: Your generosity 

Help Beginning’s Foundation and our mission to prevent and end sexual exploitation and trafficking by becoming a 4/24 Ally today.

For $24 a month or more, you can invest in prevention and give to restore survivors. Freedom 4/24 Allies receive:

• A Freedom 4/24 Car Decal

• A Freedom 4/24 T-shirt

• Exclusive updates from the organization

The exploitation of children online is not as obvious as we think it would be

The exploitation of children online is not as obvious as we think it would be.

by Freedom 4/24 Intern, Carolyn Furmage

Protecting Children in a Digital Age

Children are the most vulnerable population in today’s culture and their exposure is only getting worse. Growing up in a world controlled by screens, less in-person interaction, and online entertainment, I became desensitized to what should be considered dangerous at a young age. The world became incredibly skilled in showing me the opposite of what safety and age-appropriate content looked like.

Safety and the protection of children look very different now than they did when my parents were growing up. My dad tells stories of walking into town by himself when he was ten to get groceries, while I was only allowed to hang out in my neighborhood at that age. When I was growing up, another layer was added to the complicated battle of giving a child some sort of freedom while also keeping them safe, and this is called the digital age. A screen and instant communication were shoved into my face at a young age—who was I, as a twelve-year-old, to know what was unhealthy for me? Everyone else was doing it, it was normal! I wasn’t cool anymore if I did not participate in social media usage and gaining followers. After all, being important and fitting in with society is the most important thing as a middle schooler. 

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry says that children from ages 8-12 spend on average 4-6 hours a day watching or using screens, while teens spend about 9 hours. These numbers paint the picture of how available technology is to children of today’s society and how much harder it then becomes to protect the most vulnerable population.

It’s not our first instinct to understand how increased time on phones can lead to exploitation and trafficking, but just like anything, it happens over time without obvious signs if you don’t know what you’re looking for.

What is exploitation and trafficking?

The words exploitation and trafficking are often misunderstood or avoided in conversation. Maybe one of the reasons why exploitation still happens so prevalently is because of a lack of understanding. In order to fight the issue, we must first gain knowledge of what the word exploitation means. Maybe avoiding the issue has caused negligence and allowance for a very real and rising problem. This is exactly what happens to children when they are surrounded by a culture that tells them through ads, everyday conversations, influencers, social media platforms, and so many other outlets that sex is something that requires performance, imitates violence, and is not that big of a deal. 

Understanding different terms and behavior patterns help paint the picture of what youth are navigating in regards to exploitation:

Online Exploitation is when someone online uses their power to make a child do sexual or criminal things, either online or offline.

Online Enticement involves an individual communicating with someone believed to be a child via the internet with the intent to commit a sexual offense (to include the exchange of inappropriate pictures and videos) or abduction as defined by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children 

Online Solicitation of a minor involves engaging in online communication with a minor where the person asks or solicits the minor to meet with him in person to engage in a sexual act 

Sextortion as defined by the FBI, is a serious crime that occurs when someone threatens to distribute an individual’s private and sensitive material if they don't provide that requester with images of a sexual nature, sexual favors, or money.

Sex trafficking involves the use of force, fraud or coercion to obtain some type of commercial sex act according to the office of Homeland Security  

There is practically not a single platform immune to any of these forms of exploitation. Online exploitation happens on social media, gaming sites, messaging apps, company websites, etc. 

One of the more obvious forms of online exploitation is pornography.

Pornography is a billion-dollar industry that only furthers the dangers of an oversexualized culture and sex slavery. 23% of all 10 to 17-year-olds experience unwanted exposure to pornography and about 75% of child pornography victims are living at home when they are photographed. Parents are often responsible according to Darkness to Light. The average age for a child to first see porn is 11 years old. Let that sink in.

A common response of parents is “my child is different. I protect them from stuff like that.” The unfortunate reality is that your child was probably exposed to porn before you would even begin to think about the issue. As a parent, being naive to what our children go through will never help them overcome societal pressures and lies. Online solicitation can happen anywhere because of instant access to anyone, anything, or at any time. 

COVID 19 has created a whole new set of problems for the growing issue of online exploitation. USA Today reported in saying tips to the NCME (National Center for Missing and Exploited Children doubled from 6.2 million in 2019 to 12 million through June of 2020. They also stated that reports of online enticement went from 6,863 to 13,268 in the same timeframe. With people stuck in their homes and a phone at their fingertips, of course online presence is going to rise. Those who conduct any illegal activity of exploiting children will jump on the opportunity.

A not so obvious form of exploitation

You may be wondering, “what does online solicitation, sextortion, exploitation, etc. look like in my own home, or in my child’s life?”. Here is a common narrative we see, starting with what looks like a harmless relationship on social media: 

Next steps to protect

So, what do we do to protect one of the most vulnerable populations in the world? 

First, we must be willing to talk about the issue. As a society, we tend to steer away from conversations that could feel awkward or uncomfortable to us. If we do not bring awareness to the threat of safety to children, we will never take action steps to prevent the issue. 

Next, educate yourself on what online enticement, exploitation, and trafficking look like. Places such as the Department of Justice, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, and countless other nonprofits work to create material in order to effectively educate those on what to look for. This education also includes familiarizing yourself with current social media platforms and messaging apps that children are frequently using. 

Finally, have the conversation with and model for your children what a safe and healthy relationship with the internet looks like. Creating some sort of structure for internet usage throughout the day is beneficial to children, especially if it is done in a way that does not make a child feel suffocated or controlled. 

Online exploitation of children can feel daunting and scary to talk about. However, the more we continue to discuss, educate, protect, and advocate for children the less exploitation will happen. As a community and as parents there is a responsibility to protect others and our children are some of the most important members.