Hi. My name is Dyimon. If you are reading this I am delighted you’ve taken a few moments to listen to my words, and I hope after you read this you will be compelled to share what you’ve learned with others.
I am your average 32-year-old young lady living with my fiancée and my spoiled dog. I have worked a total of 18 years in the restaurant industry. I had a good education and came from a loving supportive family. If you saw me at work, the gas station, or even at the grocery store you probably wouldn’t guess that I suffer from PTSD, night terrors, and extreme anxiety around groups of people. In fact, you would never know that when I was 20 years old, I narrowly escaped with my life after being sex trafficked.
When I share my story with people, all too often I hear “you don’t look like you’re suffering from anything” or “you don’t look like a trafficking victim.” I find that kind of strange—what exactly does a trafficking victim look like to you? What exactly does it look like to suffer from a mental disease? But they are right about one thing:
I’m not a victim. I made it home alive. I am a survivor.
I am the face of many other survivors; my story is unfortunately not so uncommon. Some of us have not had the chance to speak up or are not ready to speak up. I’m here to speak for the survivors who can’t speak at all—to bring awareness to how common sex trafficking is and how it can happen to anyone, even a 20-year-old girl like me.
My Story
I was lured in by a monster who was posing as a man. He used a common tactic that is used today more than any other tactic to lure victims—the boyfriend tactic. He made me believe we were a couple in-love; I flew 2,000 miles to be with him. Upon arrival, I was forced to have sex with men against my will. During my time being trafficked, I was brutally beaten, starved, psychologically abused, and passed around like an object with no feelings. My first trafficker, “the boyfriend pimp,” owned me for three months. I was arrested, charged for prostitution, and released back to him. He then sold me to another trafficker where the abuse continued.
I was sexually exploited and trafficked for a year and three months before making it back home to my family. Now, I’m home and hope to help educate others about this injustice. Human trafficking is something no human should ever have to go through. I want to shed light on it.
I want my story to educate you on the boyfriend tactic:
1. Grooming
A trafficker posing as a boyfriend will begin his grooming process almost immediately after engaging with the victim. When the trafficker feels comfortable, he will begin to court his victim in a romantic relationship. The “boyfriend” is smart and will find the specific item or void the victim is lacking. This can be things as simple as food for someone who does not have a steady food source or help to pay bills for someone struggling financially. Other more brazen tactics would be unlimited amounts of alcohol, drugs, money, clothes, and vehicles to the victim with no attachments. After learning a little more about his victim, the trafficker will begin the process of making his victim feel as though they are a couple because of the camaraderie they share.
The trafficker may do things such as learning your habits, likes and dislikes, remembering food or movies you most enjoy. He may ask to meet family/friends or you may feel comfortable enough even bringing him into your family as I did. My trafficker not only met my family, but he came to my childhood home. Later, he used that as a bargaining chip.
My trafficker also allowed me to meet his family. This is not as normal for many victims, but for me, he knew I was very family-oriented, and meeting his family would only strengthen our relationship. This is an exhibit of how versatile a trafficker can become if need be.
My trafficker groomed me for a total of 8 months. I was head over heels in love. For eight months he took care of me, fed me, was kind, charming, and never even raised his voice at me.
2. Isolation
After some time infiltrating your everyday habits and family life, he will start to isolate you without you catching on—making you feel as though nobody in the world understands you like he does. You might even feel compelled to separate from loved ones unknowingly and spend most, if not all, of your time with your trafficker. A period of time will go by and before you know it, the trafficker will have successfully isolated you from anyone outside of his presence.
3. The Breakup
Then it happens—the breakup. This is an important part for the trafficker. He will start a fight to ensure a breakup or disappear to make you feel cut off and lost without him, even heartbroken. With no contact for a significant amount of time, the trafficker will reach back out assuming his grooming and love will cause the victim to be at his beck and call, ready to leave with him anywhere.
The trafficker’s tactics would fail if the victims never responded after the breakup period. For me, I was so happy to hear from my trafficker after he broke up with me. When he asked me to come be with him in California, I didn’t think twice. He offered the dreams I once told him about, the fairy tales I wanted to experience. Most importantly, he offered me stability and financial security for my family. Before I could even exhale, I was on a flight to California to sow the seeds of my dreams; but unfortunately, I only achieved the things nightmares are made of.
In writing this, the most important thing I would like people to take away is this: traffickers come in many forms and figures—as do the victims of trafficking.
In many cases, like my own, I believe this kind of victimization would not have happened had I been educated and informed about traffickers. The movies and TV do not accurately depict what trafficking looks like. However, this is not the fault of anyone in particular; it is simply a lack of information. But this is something we can change.
The Hope in Prevention
My hope is that my fellow survivors and I can be the loudest voices in leading the way to end human trafficking. That we can start a powerful conversation and help educate people about the realities of trafficking.
I ask that when you are gathered around the table for dinner or around the TV tonight, bring up some of the points in this reading. Parents, don’t be afraid to ask questions about your children’s relationships. Have a healthy, open, and informative conversation. Friends, don’t be discouraged or shy away from enlightening one another. Look for friends who might have someone like this in their life. Knowledge is invaluable. By educating our family, friends, and the people in our lives, we save lives.
I was a victim of sex trafficking. No human should ever have to endure the horrors and abuse that occur while being trafficked. I now stand before you as a survivor. With my voice, I will help educate our nation. I will stand up and march in the fight for prevention. My words will aid in empowering my fellow survivors in their journey towards validation and healing. I ask that you too please take a stand with me.
Written by Survivor, Dyimon Hills